Happy Noodle Boy's Escape
by Saturnia
Summary: R&R! My first fic ever in the JV section. Noodle boy escapes to the real world. *3rd CHAPPIE UP!*
1. Default Chapter

A/N: Hello! My first ficcy in the Jhonen Vasquez section! Sort of. I've written in the 'Invader Zim' section before… But whatever, it's not really the same. I don't know what possessed me and made me right it, but whatever it was, SHAME ON YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU! Ehem, I'm okay now. Aaanyway, R&R or I will send my many flying meatloaf and fish stick hybrids to destroy you! Flames will be used to toast the souls of the damned and make 'em all toasty… I'll end this so it won't get to be as long as the actual story.  
  
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Happy Noodle Boy. I'm very, VERY happy that I don't. But, if I owned HNB, I would own Johnny…. Nah. Here: I own nothing that you can recognize in this fic, but anything that you can't recognize is probably mine. Yup. This disclaimer will end now… It is ending… End… No, seriously… END ALREADY!  
  
(THANK GOD IT ENDED!)  
  
  
  
1 "Happy Noodle Boy's Escape"  
  
A really, really stupid fic by SATURNIA  
  
2 Chapter 1: "The Poughkeepsie Wrath of HNB"  
  
  
  
"YOU DARE DEFY MY SUCCULENT BENDY STRAWS?!" Happy Noodle Boy yelled, jumping off his soapbox and grabbing a random person by the shoulders "Well? DO YOU?! The self-appointed queen of GINSBURG (AN Heh heh…) will not stand for such ramen-foolery! Where are my TOES?!" HNG continued screaming, shaking the random person (Who's name was really Billy Bob Joe Bob Boop Boop A Doop) furiously.  
  
"Do I even know you?" Billy Bob Joe Bob Boop Boop A Doop asked Noodle Boy, dumbfounded as to why this… 'Noodle man' had come up and started shaking him.  
  
"Those… those SHOES!" Happy Noodle Boy gasped, backing up and pointing at Billy Bob Joe Bob Boop Boop A Doop's shoes in horror. "They…. THEY DON'T GO WITH THAT TIE!!!" HNB screamed, and ran off, leaving behind a confuzzled Billy Bob Joe Bob Boop Boop A Doop behind.  
  
An alien/angel/dog/burrito with no legs watched Noodle Boy for a bit, then turned to another alien/angel/dog/burrito with no legs and bowed its head "Yes. He is the Chosen One." They nodded at each other and flew off to where HNB has run off.  
  
Our beloved Happy Noodle Boy was now amusing himself by yelling death (and papaya) threats at a tree "YOU ~BEEP~ING (A/N: Hey, there are some wittle kiddies reading this. EVER THINK ABOUT THEIR NEEDS?! HAVE YOU?! ANSWER MEEE!) TREE! HOW DARE YOU MOCK ME WITH YOUR BARK-Y BARKFUL  
  
BARKINGNESS!" He kicked the tree, and ignored the throbbing pain he got on his foot in return. All of the sudden, two aliens/angels/dogs/burritos with no legs appeared before him. "YOU INTURRUPT ME IN THE MIDDLE OF MY COW MILKING? BUCUITS WILL FALL AT 3 PAST MIDNIGHT!"  
  
The aliens/angels/dogs/burritos with no legs looked at each other and nodded. "He speaks the truth…" One said to the other "Yes, he MUST be the Chosen One." The other replied. They walked over to Noodle Boy and bowed in greeting "We are sorry to inturrupt your… 'Cow Milking'..." They paused and whispered to the other "What is a 'cow'?". They both shrugged in unision and continued "As we were saying, we are sorry to inturrupt you, but we must take you the real world, for there is a war going on and your service is needed."  
  
Noodle Boy looked to them and arched a brow "What ya talkin' 'bout, Willis?"  
  
The aliens/angels/dogs/burritos shook their heads "Let us try to explain. You see, you are a comic character, created by Johnny C, who is ALSO a comic character. Both you and Johnny C are created by a real man called Jhonen Vasquez." Noodle Boy blinked at them in response. "Okay, I'll try to explain it in a way you can understand… There are three papaya. Two of them are fake, and created by a real papaya. The fake papaya's worlds are fake. The real papaya's world is real. You are one of those fake papaya. Understand?" "Ooo! YES! The papaya!" Noodle Boy nodded in understanding.  
  
"Good, now—" the alien/angel/dog/burrito was cut off by HNB's ramblings "The papayas hold such papaya-y goodness… Yet they mock me, for they do not know who my grandmother is. My grandmother is, too a papaya…" "Uh….Right…. As I was saying, you will step through a portal that we will make, that will take you to New York City. You will find out what to do after 2 days of living there." They waved their hands and a portal appeared next to Happy Noodle Boy. "Now go." They disappeared.  
  
Noodle Boy paused, then stepped through the portal as instructed. In the blink of an eye, Noodle Boy was standing in front of tons of skyscrapers, and and cars zipped past him on the narrow road. He grinned. Noodle Boy had escaped.  
  
(Poughkeepsie: Pronounced "Poe-kip-see") 


	2. He is Unleashed

A/N: I really, REALLY expected to get this up sooner. But I got lazy every time I thought of doing it, so I never really got around to making another chapter. Bad, BAD me! Anyway, I had nothing to do today, so I decided to continue this fic. I'm gonna stop writing new ficcys, because they just slow me down on finishing the rest of my stories (GO READ THEM! GO!). Well, hope you like this chapter. R&R!  
  
Disclaimer: Did I not do this in the first chapter? Do I HAVE to do it again? Aww. Fine. I repeat: Anything you CAN recognize in this fic is not mine; anything you can't recognize in the fic probably is mine!  
  
"Happy Noodle Boy's Escape"  
  
A really, REALLY stupid fic by SATURNIA  
  
Chapter 2: "He is Unleashed"  
  
DAY 1  
  
Our favorite stick figure walked up to a sleeping hobo, leaned down, and stared at it curiously. The people of the 'real world' were different. More.3D. More. Detailed. To the people of the real world, Noodle boy was a piece of paper walking across the street. Yet, most of the people of the real world didn't really seem to care (Except for the JtHM fans, who stare, and stare, and stare, and stare... It rhhhhhyyyymes.).  
  
Well, time to use his AMAZING ranting powers on the people of the real world! Noodle Boy walks up to a random boy (his name was.. Bob. He is, somehow, related to Billy Bob Joe Bob Boop Boop A Doop). HNB staaaaaaaared at Bob for a looooooong time, until-"EVIL POPTART! I SEE PIXY STIX! THE BIRDS! THE BIIIIIRDS!" Noodle Boy screamed in Bob's face. Sadly to say, Bob ran screaming. The people of the real world are not used to a piece of paper running right up to them and screaming nonsense in their face.  
  
After noodle boy had wandered aimlessly around the city for an hour or so, he spotted something of interest. It was a small store, with the word 'Starbuck' (the 's' is missing) on top. He gleefully ran inside, and went straight up to the counter, since there was no line. You see, this was not a popular Starbucks. It was.. Oh, wait, I'm swerving away from the actual story now. I will shut up. Noodle Boy saw no one in sight, so he decided to bang loudly on the counter, yelling "NACHO, NACHO, NACHO!" over and over again until.. Some one came! GASP!  
  
"SIR! Please stop it with the banging and the yelling and the screaming, you almost woke up the manager!" (A/N: That's a personal joke. I just HAD to put it in. 'Course, I didn't really have to tell you that it's a personal joke, but. what ever.) someone named. 'Starbucks: Hi! My name is: Kenneth' (A/N: Heheh.) said "INSIDE CPU!" HNB shrieked at him. "Okay, OKAY! What will you have, sir?" Noodle Boy paused for a moment to think it over, then screamed "NIKE, JUST DO IT!"  
  
He then grabbed a napkin, and shoved it into Starbucks: Hi! My name is Kenneth's mouth. Starbucks: Hi! My name is Kenneth took the napkin out of his mouth, gave Noodle Boy a weird look, and said "Well. I'm probably not gonna get an understandable answer from you, so I'll just get you some regular coffee-no, DECAF coffee. Starbucks: Hi! My name is Kenneth gave HNB one last weird look before walking away to make the coffee.  
  
In his spare time (as Kenneth was making the coffee), Noodle boy scattered the napkins about the floor of the Starbucks, upturned trash cans, took one of those caramel-squirty-thingys, and squirted caramel all over the walls, and as his last and final. thingy, he took those bags of coffee beans, and poured them over the napkins.  
  
Starbucks: Hi! My name is Kenneth finally came back with Noodle Boy's coffee, and because of his amazing stupid-ness, he didn't notice the mess. Starbucks: Hi! My name is Kenneth handed HNB the coffee "Thank you, that'll be $2.50, please." Noodle boy grabbed the coffee and yelled " Moo cow, loo cow, chippity woo!", and ran out of the store. "WAIT! YOU NEED TO PAY FOR THAT!" Kenneth yelled after him, then sighed, hanging his head "Just my luck." He then looked up over the counter and blinked "Hey, where'd this mess come from?"  
  
A/N: Aww, I would've continued it until he went to sleep, but I LOVE that ending! ^_^ Mwaha! I'm putting some of my friends in this, cuz that's fun to do. Yes, Kenneth is my friend, but he is waaaaaaay OOC. I'm so ashaaaamed. Well, anyways. Hopefully, the next chapter will be up soon. HOPEFULLY.  
  
~SATURNIA 


	3. What a mistake

A/N: Wow... just... WOW. I expected to get mean reviews. Nasty, nasty, mean reviews. I'm surprised at all of the people that like my fic! ^_^' Okay, 10 people isn't that much. But it's a start, right? I'm so very proud of myself... I GOT A REVIEW FROM THE MIGHTY CHAOTICA! Love yer fics! Heheh... I'm sucha dork. Oh, and to all the other reviewers... THANK YOU!  
  
Today is Tuesday: Your fic is probably better then mine, I'm just too lazy to read it right now.  
  
Moonlight Storm: Jhonen-in-training? Wow, even though I'm a girl, that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside... *imagines herself with glasses and red hair, drawing comics* Heheh....  
  
Oh, and by the way, I just read some of the Mighty KidKourage's fics, and noticed that she used the "Hi my name is _____" thing. I just want to say, that I did not mean to copy her. I didn't noticed you used it!! *cries*  
  
Disclaimer: *eh-HURM!* Yes, umm..... Everything you can recognize in this story is not mine, anything you can't recognize is probably owned by me. Whoopdeedoo.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Happy Noodle Boy's Escape"  
  
A really, REALLY stupid fic by SATURNIA  
  
Chapter 3: "Later that Day, at Night... or... whatever"  
  
  
  
Noodle Boy had found a nice card board box to sleep in, though it was highly uncomfortable, so, after a few minutes of tossing and turning, he set off to find somewhere to spend the night. He wandered aimlessly for a... couple of hours, until he found himself in front of a building, with the word 'HILTON' in large red letters on top of the entryway. Noodle Boy walked in (obviously), and walked up to the counter, where someone named 'HI! My name is: Squee!' (Not JV's Squee, it's just my friends nickname) greeted him.  
  
"Hello, sir, how may I-" She cut off, realizing who she was talking to. "You... YOU'RE HAPPY NOODLE BOY!" she gasped, pointing at him, drawing attention from others in the lobby.  
  
"HOW DO YOU KNOW OF THE MIGHTY PASTA SAUCE?!" He jumped on the counter "I DEMAND TO BE SHOWERED WITH SLIPPERS! PICKLES, PICKLES, I SAY!" He does a little jig, and HI! My name is: Squee! bowed deeply to him. "I'll get you the finest room in this hotel. No charge. We have enough money anyway." She took out a key from nowhere and handed it to him. "Here you go. Best room in the hotel. Room number 777." Happy Noodle Boy grabbed the key and saluted "You will be showered with many meaty meat balls of meaty MEAT DOOM upon my return, oh meaty one!!!" Squee blinked, and walked away. So, Noodle boy set off to his room.  
  
Noodle Boy's hotel room was normal. As normal as a hotel room can get. It had a bed, obviously, and a little table-thingy next to it. There was a desk, a TV (with video games! Yaaay!), and a mini-refrigerator.  
  
Immediately, Noodle Boy jumped over to the TV, and turned it on. He grabbed the remote, and flipped through the channels, occasionally stopping, pointing at an actor/news person/cartoon character, and screaming incoherent things at it. Such as... "FLOBBERGIBBIT!" or, "MOOSEDELAFOOSILY!"  
  
Suddenly, Noodle Boy landed on a channel that caught his attention him. The channel was called 'Nickelodeon'. He instantly despised the name. He mooed evilly at it, and turned it off, finding nothing on that interested him.  
  
He made his way to the mini Freez-E-Boi in his room. He opened it, and took out a bottle vanilla Coke. "Dude, you got a Dell!" He popped the top open, and glugged the whole thing down.  
  
"Vanilla fax an' copy! Fax an' copy! The squeeeeally flobbergoopin babies!" He hops around the room on one foot, and jumps out the window. He, amazingly, lands on his feet. He ran over to a taxi, beating the doors over and over again "Mah loyal steed has come to save the day!" He jumped in to the taxi.  
  
"Where ya' GOIN?!" The taxi driver...ess (it was girl... A hyper one) asked, a bit TOO enthusiastically. "TAKE ME TO THE MUFFIN MAN!" Noodle boy screamed, banging on the seats. "Mmkay then!" The taxi driver drove off, into the depths of the city.  
  
~Later...~  
  
Noodle boy arrives somewhere, deep in the bowels of the city. He looked around. There were no people. Nothing. Oh, wait, there were a few rats. But, other then that, nothing. HNB growled, and turned to a wall. "YOU! WALL! You? TALK'N TA MEE?! HUH?!" he screamed random things at the wall, for there were no people around to harass. Sad, isn't it?  
  
"Hey, dude, like, can you spare some CHANGE?" Noodle boy turned to the voice. A tramp-y looking teenage boy stood there. "SILENCE YOUS DIRTY TRAP HOLE! WHERE BE THE MEATY WALKERS?!" The boy gave him a weird look. "Dude, do you, like, have change or NOT? I need to buy my drugs, yah know." "BEGONE! DOGGONE! T-BONE! RUFF!" The boy blinked ".....What are you talkin' 'bout, DUDE?!" The boy said, backing away. "FROOT LOOP! LOOOOOP!!!" Noodle boy lunged at him. The boy barely escaped The Noodle's evil clutches. He ran screaming.  
  
Oh, did those aliens make a biiiig mistake....  
  
  
  
A/N: Dere goes the 3rd chappie! Hope you enjoyed it! The 4th chapter will be up faster then this one was. Hopefully... heheh....  
  
Ehh... VROOM! 


End file.
